Freezing Time

Danny Jr. is such a big boy.  It’s hard to accept that he’s growing up – and growing up he is! Right before my eyes! Every day he discovers something new.  Suddenly he says, “vroom vroom” as he pushes his hot wheels cars across the hardwood floor.  Out of left field he… climbs out of his crib.  Okay, some discoveries are way cooler than others.  The climbing-out-of-the-crib thing took me a bit by surprise, even though it shouldn’t have because he’s made attempts often.  In the very same day he has delighted himself by also breaking out of the pack ‘n play.  So, after his seamless bottle-to-sippie-cup transition, he began another: the crib to Big Boy bed rite of passage.  I want to freeze time.  I’m excited to enter these new stages with him but I wish it wasn’t going by so quickly.

He is almost two years old.  But not yet.  He’s not two, yet. He’s still Mommy’s little baby.  

It has been hard to keep writing but, while I never really make “resolutions,” I think this year my resolution is to write more.  That’s the only real way I’m able to freeze time.  And as each day slips into the next, the more I find myself wishing I could press the pause button, stop time and just savor these moments forever.  Yet time keeps ticking.  And while I know I will look back on my journals and blogs and understand why there are large gaps in time when I didn’t write – life was so busy then, I’ll think – I will also wonder what we were doing from July 2014 to January 2015.  Such a long stretch.  Which Halloween was that? The one where Daniel dressed up as a fox? No, that was the year before.  Was it the year he dressed up as a robot? Yes, that was it. I want to be able to remember the memories that right now I think I’ll never forget.  And I won’t forget, but the details will become hazy.  They will mix up with other details of our days.  It will be hard to remember which was which when I’m walking down memory lane 5, 10, 15 years from now.  So this time, a resolution makes sense.  I need to write more.  I need to find away to make the clock stop ticking on, to freeze time, to capture these little moments and never forget them – not a single detail.